Author: musicofpottersfield

What is the story behind this song?
Initially, I wanted to have an in-the-moment description of what anxiety feels like.

What was your inspiration for this song? Did you collaborate with anyone for this song? How did you meet them?
This was the first song Ian Osborne and I wrote together (my producer for Just for Tonight and also my next single not yet released). We had a good first session describing the theme (anxiety) and the next session ended up being written over Zoom call in quarantine. The first version we put together in studio summer 2020 got cut since the vocal and the track didn’t match well. In September 2020, we redid the vocal session and he started on an entirely new track (Ian is amazing). I came down with a severe case of COVID-19 and was almost put on a ventilator. A few doctors didn’t know if I was going to survive and honestly, I didn’t think I was either. As I started to slowly progress during my 3.5-week hospital stay Ian sent me the final vocal session and I listened to it from my hospital bed. Although the song was originally written to address anxiety, as I heard it from my hospital bed, the lyrics related to me in that moment being stuck in isolation, struggling to survive COVID-19, fighting to breathe. Needless to say, I cried when I heard it back. Ironically my own song helped me through that crisis, and I hope other COVID-19 survivors can relate to the horrible experience too.

When you listen to this song, does its meaning change for you over time?
It had a lot of meaning when I wrote it and brings back hospital memories too. I really love it.

What is the story behind this song?
I wrote it when I was getting back into the dating world, I was nervous about opening myself back up again. I wrote it in Austin years before meeting my current producer Ian Osborne and this was the first song we did in our project as a team. I wasn’t sure about it, but he loved it so that gave me the confidence to record it.

What was your inspiration for this song? Did you collaborate with anyone for this song?
This is the only song I have released that I wrote completely alone.

Thinking back on this song now, would you make any changes?
Moving forward, I would love to do a remix of the song, but I wouldn’t change anything about it.

When you listen to this song, does its meaning change for you over time?
I’m not as afraid to be vulnerable in the dating world anymore mostly because I have learned to love myself, but I like how the song captured my heart in the moment.

What is the story behind this song? What was your inspiration for this song?
In 2017, a friend of mine died from complications during alcohol withdrawal. We only knew each other briefly before his passing but we became instant kindred spirits and I still have trouble holding back tears thinking about him. I wanted a song that honored his BEAUTIFUL spirit but also the devastation of burying someone with an addiction. I wanted to make sure his family, especially his mother, approved of the song and that it would be something he would have wanted to be heard to help others. Once his mother got back to me on how much she loved it and that her son would have loved everything about the song, I felt it was ok to release it. Getting a semifinalist placement in the ISC was something I needed to be at peace knowing the song was written well. When you are honoring the memory of someone there is an extra level of sweat that goes into EVERY line more than any other song. It’s intentionally poetic because he was a musician and songwriter that had a very poetic style himself. The acoustic guitar throughout was intentional to his guitar style, and I listened to demos he and I did together before his passing that were very similar.

Did you collaborate with anyone for this song? How did you meet them?
A songwriter I met at a Nashville songwriter event named Catherine Rose wrote most of the first few lines of the first verse and a friend of mine Alyssa Kinn (stage name Kinn) and I did the rest together. It took around 6 months for me to say it was done and I knew it was when I heard it back and cried.

What is the story behind this song?
I wrote “Hope” in Austin, TX with two other people, and it was my very first song I ever released.

What was your inspiration for this song?
I needed to find hope in my own dreams, in my own ability to go against the grain and be successful in music. It was also a time that I was moving to Nashville, and I needed as much inspiration as I could get so in essence, I wrote the song partially for me.

Did you collaborate with anyone for this song? How did you meet them?
One was a producer in Austin, TX that I met at a music meetup. The other was a fellow afterschool preschool teacher who played cello.

Thinking back on this song now, would you make any changes?
I would love to remix this one to match my new sound but I’m proud of it and wouldn’t change anything.

When you listen to this song, does its meaning change for you over time?
I definitely feel like I’m on the road I dreamed of being on when I wrote it and that I’m finally “sailing” in the right direction.

A potter’s field is a burial place for unknown or indigent people/prisoners. The biblical reference in Aramaic means ‘field of blood’ “stated to have been purchased, with the coins that had been paid to Judas Iscariot for his identification of Jesus, after Judas’ suicide, by the high priests of Jerusalem. The priests are stated to have acquired it for the burial of strangers, criminals, and the poor, the coins paid to Judas being considered blood money.” (Wikipedia).

Today the term is still used for burial grounds for the unknown. I have always felt unknown, like an outsider, too strange to be a part of the group, liked but not loved/just outside the circle of acceptance. I have been this way in every area of my life from my youth and it manifested in depression and suicidal thoughts. I was hospitalized for wanting to kill myself as a freshman in high school and the depression even though well managed until my marriage took on a whole new level in my abuse with my ex and after.

I have accepted who I am now, but I know I’m still an outsider in this industry as a woman in EDM and that I definitely don’t “look” like a “pop star” either, so I decided to use that feeling to make a brand and write lyrics to draw in others who feel the same way. That old saying “if you can’t beat it, join it” is the concept I had while picking the name. If someone relates to my sound/lyrics it’s because they resonate with something about me, what I stand for, lyrics, or just an overwhelming feeling of being an outsider.

In MY Pottersfield, a person has a choice to die in that pain or to live, to continue to suffer, or to accept yourself and dance in the field. I want to create a resource for those struggling with depression, drugs, or alcohol so that they can find resources on my website to get help and not be buried in Pottersfield but to find others in a community who identify with them and choose to fight to live.

If you could collaborate with any musician, who would it be?
Ryan Tedder

Who is your all-time favorite musician?
Most of my life it was David Crowder and Chris Carrabba (Dashboard Confessional). Now it’s Illenium because he is the gateway artist to me loving EDM.

What sort of music do you listen to that might be unexpected given the type of music you make?
Dermont Kennedy, Justin Bieber, NF, Aretha Franklin, Benedictine Monk Chants, Christina Aguilera, anything Emo especially Fall Out Boy

What inspired you to pursue music?
I always thought I wanted to pick it up as a hobby but once I got divorced, I started struggling with alcohol abuse to numb out. I wanted to not think about the lies and abuse my ex caused me so I would drink to distract myself from the memories. I knew if I didn’t start facing the feelings the drinking would eventually kill me, so I started writing down my thoughts and practicing my guitar. Then came my first song, then another, and another so I found a producer in Austin to help me record one, then another and, curiosity eventually led me to be invited to a prestigious songwriting event in Nashville where a very respected and award-winning production team spoke life into my work. They said I was talented and had potential, so I moved to Nashville to intern at the studio with that team and it progressed from there. I have struggled with stage fright singing solo in front of people most of my life but ironically, I also was very drawn to the stage. I performed in band and theatre in youth and college. I didn’t know why but I was very comfortable performing art in front of people even though signing solo literally made me shake physically. That fear was so paralyzing that initially I only wanted to write music for other artists but after a while of the internal battle I knew I had my own story to tell, and I had to face my solo singing phobia to do it. If I could just face the nerves, I could help someone else overcome their divorce, insecurities, losses through my songs. I have sacrificed my family, relationships, working jobs I didn’t like, eating to pay producers/studio bills and everything else that costs to be an indie artist just to push forward one more step. My motivation has ALWAYS been the listener on the other side of the song. I have sacrificed everything to give them words to a speechless level of grief I have gone through myself.

What is your dream record label?
Any major label that’s willing to allow me to be myself and have creative freedom to make what I need to make and perform how I want to perform.

Have you had a defining moment in your music career?
There have been many moments that helped me see myself as an artist and have evolved my timid mindset to accept me for me artistically. The first biggest was probably getting semifinalist in International Songwriting Competition (ISC) for “Empty Bottles” and definitely the most recent was “honorable mention winner” in the Unsigned Only Competition in the EDM category. The top 11 international artists that placed with me were very talented and that win solidified my genre and has made me more focused than ever to keep pushing forward.

How has your musical voice and sound changed or evolved over time?
I have been working with a voice coach for 4 years and with that training I’ve been finally starting to hear my voice come through naturally. My producer Ian Osborne is also an amazing singer and has helped me in studio to record the best version of myself I can in that moment. Genre sound is different in the first 3 tracks just because I was with a different producer and finding a style within my writing process. “Hours or Minutes” has felt the most natural for me to sing and fits what I love to listen to. Once it began getting great professional feedback and a competition placement Ian and I knew we had cracked into my sound.

Do you or have you ever had an alter ego?
I did when I first started– Kim Royce. I always wanted to be named Kim and Royce for the car because I had been treated like a secondhand wagon, but I knew I was a Rolls Royce inside. I don’t use it anymore lol.

Is there a particular song that means a lot to you?
I think whatever song I’m hooked on for that day or month I play on repeat for hours because it gives me words to a feeling I could express on my own. Right now, “Ghost” by Justin Bieber means a lot in this season as it has helped me process the loss of a friend.

What do you do outside of music?
I’m a registered nurse.

What do you like to do in your free time?
I love coffee with friends, exploring around town (Nashville), going to Austin to visit family, jogging, documentaries, and practicing piano.

Do you have any pets?
2 dogs: Ruthie the 11-year-old Schnauzer mix and Trudy the 10-month-old yellow Lab.

Is there anything you are working on now?
Marketing, having more of a social media presence, marketing strategy for next release Jan 2022, and I’m always writing down ideas for the next song.

What do you have planned for the future in music?
To keep co-writing and recording, practicing and marketing… to be the best version of me I can be. If that puts me on the charts, great. If not, I just want to create music and a brand that leaves people in a better place.

Potter’s field |noun| a burial place for unknown, unclaimed, and indigent people

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