What is the story behind this song?
Initially, I wanted to have an in-the-moment description of what anxiety feels like.
What was your inspiration for this song? Did you collaborate with anyone for this song? How did you meet them?
This was the first song Ian Osborne and I wrote together (my producer for Just for Tonight and also my next single not yet released). We had a good first session describing the theme (anxiety) and the next session ended up being written over Zoom call in quarantine. The first version we put together in studio summer 2020 got cut since the vocal and the track didn’t match well. In September 2020, we redid the vocal session and he started on an entirely new track (Ian is amazing). I came down with a severe case of COVID-19 and was almost put on a ventilator. A few doctors didn’t know if I was going to survive and honestly, I didn’t think I was either. As I started to slowly progress during my 3.5-week hospital stay Ian sent me the final vocal session and I listened to it from my hospital bed. Although the song was originally written to address anxiety, as I heard it from my hospital bed, the lyrics related to me in that moment being stuck in isolation, struggling to survive COVID-19, fighting to breathe. Needless to say, I cried when I heard it back. Ironically my own song helped me through that crisis, and I hope other COVID-19 survivors can relate to the horrible experience too.
When you listen to this song, does its meaning change for you over time?
It had a lot of meaning when I wrote it and brings back hospital memories too. I really love it.